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October 21 我为何而生--罗素对爱情的渴望,对知识的追求,对人类苦难不可遏止的同情. 这三种单纯而强烈的激情支配了我的一生.这些激情像阵阵飓风,反复无常地将我卷袭,带向深痛的海洋,濒临绝望的深渊. 我寻求爱情,首先是因为它带来狂喜------它是如此令人心醉神迷,我常常会为了这种短暂的欢乐而牺牲余生.我寻求爱情,其次是因为它能避免寂寞------身临这种难耐的孤寂,一个人战栗的目光会瞥过尘世的边缘,直透那冰冷而不可测的生命的深渊.我寻求爱情,还是因为在爱的结合中,我看到了古今圣贤和诗人在梦想中描绘的天堂的神秘缩影.这正是我追求的境界,虽然它对于人类的生活可能显得过分美妙,但它却是我最终在爱情中发现的东西。 我以同样的激情追求知识。我想理解人类的心.我想知道星星为什么闪耀。我试图悟出毕达哥拉斯的力量,这力量使得数成为变动不居的世界的本质.在这方面我有所得,但所获并不很多. 爱情和知识,在其最大的可能中,将我引升到天堂.但悲悯之心总是是我回到现实的大地.那些痛苦的呼号在我心中回荡。忍饥挨饿的小孩,被压迫者欺凌的不幸,被子女视为厌负担的孤苦无助的老人,以及整个孤寂,贫穷和痛苦的世界,对于人类生活的理想,不过是一种嘲讽.我切盼减缓苦难,但我无能为力,同时亦身受其害. 这就是我的一生,我认为我没有白活,倘若上苍赐机会与我,我会欣然照原样这么活一辈子. 我们都处于青涩与空虚共存的年轻时代,希望从文字的世界中体会心灵上的共鸣,找寻精神的力量;也可以让在物质世界搏杀过后感到失衡或失去了什么的年长者,就在这样的一些文字中找寻那些失去以久的无所谓惧,无所依傍,自由自在的年轻的心境. 生命应该像花朵那么温柔可爱,像峰峦那么稳定而清晰,像苍天那么高深不可测度。
——罗素 Three
passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the
longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the
suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me
hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish,
reaching to the very verge of despair.
I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so
great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few
hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves
loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering
consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold
unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the
union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring
vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what
I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is
what--at last--I have found.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to
understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars
shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which
number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I
have achieved.
Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward
toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of
cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims
tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and
the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what
human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and
I too suffer.
This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.Comments (4)
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